Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
