Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
