I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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