Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
