i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
