chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
