I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
