I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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