so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
