Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
