I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize