I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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