Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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