After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
