Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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