So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize