is your mom at the bar?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
