That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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