How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
