I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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