Tell her she can't have a vagina
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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