S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
