I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize