Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
