He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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