That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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