So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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