Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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