Say something about gay babies.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
