I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
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