Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
