Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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