That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you will always have a special place in my vag
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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