I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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