dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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