hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Farmville is her only friend.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You did what with his pubic hair?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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