Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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