lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
