tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
