your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Operation Purity has been aborted
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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