this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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