Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
