so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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