This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
