Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
