I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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