Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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