I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
