also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
