Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
