Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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