Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
