I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
