i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
