If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
false alarm, still single
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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