Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
