the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize